


Friendship February

by AlyssAlenko, LauraEMoriarty



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Mass Effect, Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Action, Alcohol, BFFs, Best Friends, Blasto Vid, Bluffing, Bonding, Cards, Cerberus - Freeform, Coping, Cousins, Cute, Cutesy, Drinks, Embarrassment, Family, First Meetings, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Friend Fiction, Friendship, Hope, Humor, Leaving, Loss, Love, Memories, Mild Language, Movie Night, Nicknames, Past Relationship(s), Past shenko, Pining, Platonic Relationships, Poker, Reunions, Sarcasm, Secrets, Siblings, Skyhold, Sweet, Tale of the Champion, Tattoos, Tavern, Teasing, The Conclave, Through the Years, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Trust, Truth or Dare, Twinquisitor AU, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Wicked Grace, Writing, ander's fate, closeness, friends - Freeform, making new friends, twin shep AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-18 22:40:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13691325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlyssAlenko/pseuds/AlyssAlenko, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LauraEMoriarty/pseuds/LauraEMoriarty
Summary: Written for Friendship February hosted over on tumblr, this fic is to celebrate all the best (and shiniest) friendships that have happened, because who doesn't love good friends working and hanging out together?





	1. Wicked Grace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 1 of Friendship Week: 12 February, Make New Friends... - Life tends to take our OCs some interesting places, and this day celebrates the new (and sometimes unexpected!) friendships they pick up along the way.
> 
> Having The Hero of Ferelden, Hawke, and the Inquisitor in the same room should be awe-inspiring. But the three women decide that playing Wicked Grace in the Skyhold Tavern is a lot more fun than facing the ever encroaching conflict with Corypheus.

She'd been meaning to ask since the moment she saw the Hero and Queen of Ferelden...even only having met her once, Odessa Theirin was unmistakable. She exuded an aura of confidence and power. Elyssia broke away from Victoria and Varric bowing when she got close. Hawke respected the Queen of Ferelden, she really did, but out of everyone, she was the one person who would know Anders’ whereabouts, having known him before he was a warden and the spirit of vengeance inhabited him. Elyssia just wanted to know her friend was safe--she didn't need to know the specifics.

“Your majesty--”

“Odessa is fine.”

“Can we talk...privately?”

Odessa nodded, letting the woman, guide her to an out of the way corner, where it was less likely they would be overheard. She had an inkling this was about Anders, her instincts generally to be trusted, but she also trusted Varric and her cousin not to let word get out, Varric having travelled around Kirkwall with Fenris, Anders, and Hawke on numerous occasions, and was considered a close friend. Speaking of which, she should ask him for the pillow hand stitched by Anders’ mother that the mage had given him before he’d blown up the chantry, certain he wouldn't make it out alive...but then again that could be suspicious.

She hated all the secrecy and doubt, constantly wondering who she could trust, but their mutual friend was a wanted man.

“Do you know where Anders is? When you visited Kirkwall, it seemed like you and he were close. Is he okay?”

“I know exactly where he is, though I dare not say, in case someone means him harm...but he’s safe.”

Elyssia heaved a sigh of relief; she understood, and it was just good to know that after everything, Anders still had someone he could rely on, to keep his secrets. She didn't need to know the specifics, trusting the Queen of Ferelden would have an easier time keeping her friend safe than anyone else. Victoria hooked her arm through her cousin’s when she and Varric made their way over, Odessa suggesting a game of Wicked Grace so she could meet all Tori’s inner circle and advisors. She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed her youngest cousin until Victoria had found her way back into her life. Victoria had missed someone knowing her before she became the Herald of Andraste, before the fate of Thedas had been thrust upon her shoulders. And now her cousin wanted to get to know her new friends...and Hawke.

“I’m not sure we can get Cullen to agree...he’s still upset about last time.” Victoria smiled wryly. “Josephine won everything from him. And I mean  _ everything _ ; he was completely naked.”

Odessa laughed. “Alistair won't agree either. Zevran and Leliana used to mop the floor with him, more than once he came back to my tent with nothing but a sock protecting his modesty.”

It didn't take long for them to gather a few takers to play the game, settling themselves in the tavern--just as they suspected, Cullen and Alistair had declined the invitation. It was nice that they could all do things like this, spend time together and just have fun and forget the rest of the world for a little while, pretending they didn't have a care in the world, and that they didn't have a confrontation with Corypheus looming on the horizon. This was the best gift she could ask for: everyone together and having fun. Moments like these were fleeting and were a precious reminder of what they were fighting for.

“So, Hero...you could change the world.” Varric tapped the top of his cards, before pushing his bet into the middle of the table.

“I did. But my life isn’t my own anymore; I have a husband and three beautiful kids...I can’t just drop everything to run off and be a hero again. I have to leave that to my cousin now. I raise.”

The dwarf chuckled, grasping the golden ring that hung from the chain around his neck, eyeing the Hero of Ferelden critically...she might be bluffing; he didn’t know her well enough to know her tells and it didn’t help that he knew she’d beaten Isabella at cards--Isabella who didn’t know how to play cards  _ without  _ cheating. He’d gotten to know Tori very well, and he’d spent seven years at Elyssia’s side...they weren’t the ones who worried him. Odessa smirked, placing her cards face down on the table, and leaning back in her chair with both hands folded behind her head as one by one everyone folded, watching the battle of wills happening between Thedas’ first hero and the most prominent and most extravagant liar.

“I call. I hope you have better than three serpents.” Varric sighed--he hadn’t been watching Odessa as carefully as he should have been.

“Four songs…” She grinned flipping her last card over Varric’s jaw dropping in awe. “And the Angel of Death.”

“Well shit, Red.”


	2. Teensy Favors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 2 of Friendship February (13 Feb): …But Keep the Old - Today is dedicated to our OC’s oldest and dearest. The friends who have stood by them through it all, and who were still there waiting on the other side.
> 
> Alyss Shepard has just been brought back to life by Cerberus, and asks Joker to do her a favor when they dock at the Citadel…The two banter, but all in all re-establish their friendship and spend some much needed time together. This is super fluffy and sweet and may cause Toothrotting

The doors to the cockpit whooshed open behind Joker. He knew the sound of the footsteps approaching him—even after two years, three months and seventeen days without his best friend, her footsteps were completely unmistakable. He smiled a little; having Shepard back was probably the best gift he could ever ask for and he’d missed her like crazy—the two of them were going to get into so much trouble just like the good old days. She took a deep breath.

“Hey Joker, will you come with me to the wards today? I need someone to hold my hand.”

It was odd to hear Commander Shepard sound nervous. Joker turned his chair away from the helm—maybe it wasn’t really her after all…maybe Cerberus had messed something up when they brought her back—she wasn’t punching any walls either. But there were tiny little details and things she did that couldn’t be duplicated…things that let him know that it was really her. She put her hand on the arm of his chair; her fingernails immediately digging into the leather—Alyss must’ve been ridiculously afraid of whatever she wanted his company for. Joker hissed and knocked her hand away—she didn’t need to harm his new favorite seat…

“Hold your hand for what?”

She bit her lower lip which was one of those tiny details that Cerberus couldn’t have known about when she was thinking something over really hard. “I want to get a tattoo, and I could use some moral support. There’s no way I’m going to ask Miranda or Jacob for anything, they may have helped bring me back, but I don’t know them well enough for that bonding experience yet.”

Joker grinned. “You had me at ‘come with me’…anything to get away from the ship cancer.”

“You know I can hear you, Mr. Moreau.” EDI stated flatly.

“Like I care.” Joker shot back.

Alyss smacked the brim of his baseball cap down just like she used to. “Play nice.”

“How many times do you get shot at, and you’re still afraid of needles? You’re so weird.” He teased, getting up out his chair and hobbling along beside her. “Do you know what you want?”

She nodded.

She’d been wanting to get Kaidan’s name tattooed somewhere on her body since before she died to show him how serious she was about him, and now she finally had a chance; the design she’d decided on was a winged heart, with the angel wings stretching across her lower back, with a cursive ‘Kaidan’ inside the heart, in his favorite color: royal blue. However, she had always chickened out because she hated needles, but after dying once, she knew how short life was and vowed to stick to her guns this time around. Alyss wanted to say she’d thrown caution to the wind at least once in her lifetime—or two lifetimes…

“I was thinking a winged heart on my lower back.” She mumbled, conveniently omitting that Kaidan’s name would be in the heart.

Joker’s eyes went wide. “Al, you want a tramp stamp?”

“Do you have to call it that? It should be very tasteful.” Alyss jokingly punched his arm.

“Ow! Guy with brittle bones, here!”

She snorted with laughter. “That didn’t hurt and you know it, besides, last I checked, your brittle bones were in your legs.”

Joker laughed. He wouldn’t have thought it would be this nice to have her back—he hadn’t realized how much he missed her until she found her way back into his life; for now, it was just the two of them—and Dr. Chakwas amongst a sea of unfamiliar faces. But Cerberus couldn’t be all bad could it? They’d given him back his best friend, his ship, and let him fly again. He was willing to overlook their past transgressions even if Shepard was wary.

Alyss hooked her arm through his, making him stand up straighter; he liked that she always took his pace when they walked together, never making him hurry, never dragging him along—always treating it as a leisurely stroll, like they had all the time in the world. But they didn’t and they both knew it. It explained her sudden need to get a tattoo—it was probably a memory of something precious, a reminder of what she was fighting for.

Joker winced as her fingernails dug into the back of his hand as he sat next to her while she lay on the table in the tattoo parlor; neither of them could figure out how they’d talked themselves into this. The asari who was putting the finishing touches on her artwork laughed quietly to herself, earning Joker’s ire; he leaned over to see exactly what it looked like and his jaw dropped when his eyes lit on the name—the detail she’d omitted when telling him what she wanted. He should’ve been suspicious when she’d made that secretive quick sketch when asked what she wanted. He smirked at her—this was better than when she and Kaidan had flitted away for a week-long sexcapade in Hawaii…Alyss instantly regretted her decision to bring him along.

“Somebody’s got it bad for a certain L2, hmmm?” He teased.

She blushed and dropped his hand. “Shut the hell up, Joker.”

She felt the Asari—with the name Vari on her nameplate—sticking the bandage over her tattoo, and she offer her hand to help her get off the table without incident; Alyss accepted it gratefully and took the pamphlet she was handed…she couldn’t believe she’d just gotten Kaidan’s name permanently engraved into her skin—what if it didn’t work out between them? There was no way she was going to go through the process of getting it removed. Alyss was going to be stuck with it forever—half of her was regretting it, and the other half was still in shock that she’d actually gone through with this crazy scheme of hers. Kaidan was obviously special.

“I assume you haven’t gotten a tat before?” Vari asked.

“Was it that obvious?” Alyss laughed. “What should I do with it?”

“It’s fairly simple—remove your bandage within 2-3 hours and don’t re-bandage. Wash it with an anti-bacterial liquid soap: be gentle, don’t use a washcloth or anything that will exfoliate, only use your hands and then gently pat it dry with a clean cloth or paper towel; don’t rub at it, or use a fabric with a rough surface. I’m sure your boyfriend over there would be willing to help you out.” She nodded in Joker’s direction.

Alyss snorted with laughter. “He’s not my boyfriend—he wishes.”

“In your dreams, Shepard.” Joker shot back.

“Up yours.” She winked at him.

Vari shook her head. “Anyways, for the first three to four days rub a small amount of ointment into the tat, you can use Bacitracin, A&D, Neosporin, or Tattoo Lube—whatever you know you’re not allergic to. Always, always, make sure your hands are clean and don’t place your fingers back into the ointment after touching your tattoo; make sure to rub the ointment in so that it's not shiny, or greasy—you want the thinnest amount possible and then pat off any excess ointment with a clean cloth or paper towel…make sure you don’t use Vaseline, petroleum or Bag Balm. Wash, dry and apply ointment three to five times daily, as needed. On the first night, you may want to wrap your tattoo in saran wrap to prevent sticking to your bedding—don’t use any cloth bandages or pads, as the fibers of this material can adhere to your open tattoo and hinder the healing process and wear clean, soft clothing for the first two weeks– nothing abrasive or irritating. On the third or fourth day it’ll begin to peel. This is completely normal; don’t pick at the skin and begin using a mild, white, unscented lotion, free of dyes or perfumes for at least two weeks once or twice a day.”

Alyss scrunched up her nose—no scented lotion for two weeks? She wasn’t even sure she owned anything that wasn’t scented, however, upon further reflection, Alyss realized she didn’t really own anything at all at the moment having just been brought back to life and all her belongings went down with the original Normandy. She needed to do some shopping, stat, and try to make this new ship feel more like home—it was a mystery how long she would be there, but she was probably not going to give up the new Normandy without a fight. Cerberus and the Alliance would have to pry it from her cold, dead hands.

“Hey, I’ve got to do some shopping, but if you want to head back to the Normandy and put your legs up—I’ll completely understand.” Alyss sighed as they walked out of the tattoo parlor arm-in-arm.

“Are you kidding? This is the first time I’ve been able to stretch my legs since Freedom’s Progress.” Joker blushed. “Besides, it’s the first time we’ve been able to spend some time together since you came back, and I’m not going to waste it.”

She could feel the blush creeping across her cheeks as well; Joker scratched under the beard on his chin, embarrassed, making Alyss smile before wrapping her arms around him and kissing his cheek. He grinned from ear to ear as he hugged her back. They stood there for a moment, ignoring all the hustle and bustle of the wards around them…Joker had always had her back—ever since she became XO of the Normandy, and so she allowed herself this one moment of weakness; he was her unwavering support before and now after her death, the best friend she’d always wanted.


	3. Friend Fiction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 4 15 February: You Know Too Much/The Family You Choose - A day dedicated to the friends who are like family. You know the ones: you can’t stop being friends because they know too many of your secrets. ;) This day is for the friends who know your OC better than they know themselves sometimes.
> 
> Varric is a little stuck while writing his Tale of the Champion, and needs some help from the subject herself, after finding out that Fenris went to Hawke's estate the night before, but not knowing how the night ended. He gets a little stuck writing the smut, but when he gets past that, he starts his Romance Serials.

The familiar smells of stale alcohol, sweat, piss and vomit assaulted Elyssia’s nostrils as she entered the Hanged Man. The letter Varric had sent with Sandal and Bodahn to the Hawke manor had said it was urgent, and she’d rushed over thinking he was in trouble—only to find him sitting at a table by the hearth, a waitress filling his mug with more ale, pen in hand. But he wasn’t writing, just poised over the page, deep in thought. He hadn’t noticed her yet, and it was obvious he wasn’t in trouble, unless writer’s block counted as a problem—but he was Varric Tethras, and he should be able to conquer any writing demon with his talent and eloquence. She rolled her eyes as she threw herself into the chair next to him, Varric’s eyes lighting up.

“Hawke! Just the person I was dying to see. I’m stuck at this next part of the Tale of the Champion, and I need your input.” He slid a stack of parchment across the tabletop the paper dotted with ink and cross outs.

Elyssia thumbed through the stack, barely glancing at the words on the page, before tossing them back on the table—she didn’t get what he was asking. “Varric, I’m not a writer…what help could you possibly need from me?”

He jabbed a thumb at a sentence in front of her, and her cheeks went red. “You and Broody...I need all the juicy details. My readers want to know _everything_.”

He was getting perverse pleasure from this. Her eyes scanned the page more carefully this time but reading about what he thought had happened between her and Fenris and giving them a happy ending, made her pause and take a deep breath. She wasn’t ready to talk about it, even if Fenris had taken a token crest for his belt and a scrap of red fabric from the sheets he’d shredded with his gauntlets before she’d fully disrobed him. What was everyone _supposed_ to infer? Varric had taken several artistic liberties with anatomy, she noticed, drawing a dry chuckle, but he was very generous with his descriptions of her body. She’d take that and run with it. Elyssia wouldn’t deny, smutty literature was hers and Bethany’s favorite thing to read, but those were fictional characters in fictional situations—this was _her life_ he was writing about.

“I’m not sure I want you writing about my sex life. My sister is going to read this, you know, and I don't think I want her to read about my...lover...let alone reading—” She grabbed the parchment off the table to find the line, reading it aloud. “ _Fenris’ lyrium tattoos snaked across every plane of his body, even wrapping around his throbbing erection_. By the way, they don't.”

Varric’s eyes lit up, and he leaned across the table, sliding his mug of ale towards Elyssia, trying to tempt her to keep talking—so she and Fenris had finally had sex? He needed to her to tell him everything...graphically. his publisher kept telling him ‘sex sells better and faster than intrigue’; Varric had been fighting against it for so long, not wanting to sell out, but now he had a prime opportunity to practice writing smutty literature. She pushed the mug away; throwing alcohol at her broken heart wasn’t a good idea. Varric cocked his head to one side, they’d known each other for three years now, and he always prided himself on being able to tell when something was wrong. She was the best friend he ever had, and he’d do everything in his power to make her feel better. But first she needed to tell him what was wrong. They’d work their way from there, and if he needed to bash in the head of a broody elf, so be it.

“How about a cookie, then you can tell me everything?”

She eyed him critically. “So you can use it in your book?”

“You wound me, Hawke. I’d give you full approval on what stays and what goes.”

Elyssia snorted with laughter; she didn't know what she’d expected, but at least she had Varric to pick her up and make her smile when she was feeling down—even if he did use her for his friend fiction.


	4. Truth or Dare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 5 of friendship February: Down Memory Lane - What were your OC and their friends like as kids? How did they meet? What kind of trouble did they get into? And, perhaps most importantly, what kind of embarrassing stories can they tell about each other? :D
> 
> A little look into how Joker met Grai and Calysta Shepard, because the three of them have been friends forever, and Kaidan is phishing for information due to his crush on Calysta. the Normandy crew has a few drinks and they start the night off right with a game of truth or dare, that evolves into Joker and Cal spilling deep dark secrets about each other.

_ “Okay, Jeff. I need you to behave...can you do that for me?” _

_ The five-year-old nodded, straightening up from fiddling with his shiny new leg braces. Jenn Moreau smiled at her son and knelt to adjust his pant legs to cover the braces and then fixed his collar, before standing and taking his hand in hers. It was probably bad form to bring her son on her first day of a new posting, but she and her husband were going through a rough patch--divorce or trial separation had been mentioned--and he’d always been a little upset with the amount of attention their son required due his Vrolik’s Syndrome, so she wasn't going to leave him at home. Hannah Shepard greeted her with a smile as the airlock doors slid open, wearing high-collared dress blues, her black curly hair pulled back into a tight bun at the base of her head. She was the embodiment of professionalism. _

_ “Hello, Jenn. I’m Commander Hannah Shepard--it’s so good to finally meet you!” The two women shook hands enthusiastically, before Hannah turned her attention to Jeff who held tightly to his mother’s free hand. “And who is this dashing young fellow?” _

_ “This is my son, Jeff. I wouldn't have brought him if I had anywhere else to take him, but he has Vrolik’s Syndrome and there's some problems at home. He’ll behave, and I brought his coloring book.You won’t even know he’s here, I promise.” _

_ “I have two of my own and I understand, Jenn. Relax. But it’s a long shift for someone with bad legs, so I have a better idea.” _

_ Hannah smiled, and escorted the two of them past the bridge, to another room, the doors sliding open at their approach. Peals of children's laughter rang through the air. Inside the room, a daycare center had been set up and a dozen kids were running around, two identical girls about Jeff’s age, with black curly hair pulled up into two puffballs on top of their heads were chasing everyone with squirt guns and cackling at the top of their lungs. Hannah stuck two fingers in her mouth and whistled loudly, everyone skidding to a stop, the twin instigators shuffling sheepishly over towards them, expecting to be scolded as the daycare workers wearily got everyone else under control. Hannah knelt and tugged the squirt guns from their hands, shaking her head as she readjusted their clothes--obviously the three caretakers were not paid enough to watch her little troublemakers. _

_ “These two hellions and the ringleaders of mischief are my daughters, Grainne and Calysta. Girls, this is mommy’s new crewmember, Jenn and her son, Jeff. I trust you two will make him feel at home?” Hannah asked, the twins nodding. _

_ “Do you like water tag?” Grai asked. _

_ “I’ve never played.” Jeff shrugged. _

_ Hannah rolled her eyes. “I think you two have had enough water tag for one day, and he has bad legs, so go easy on him okay? Maybe find an activity he can do too.” _

_ Cal eyed the coloring book clutched in Jeff’s hands. “Is that a superhero coloring book? Who’s your favorite?” _

_ “The Flash, ‘cause he can move real fast and I can't. But I wanna.” _

_ Cal took him by the hand and started dragging him over to the table to color. “Mine’s Superman. I wanna marry him when I grow up and Mommy says I can do anything I put my mind to.” _

_ “Mr. Fantastic is the best. You two are wrong!” Grai sighed, walking along beside them. _

“And we’ve been friends ever since.” Joker finished.

Kaidan chuckled; the two of them seemed so put together when they were on the Normandy, so it was hard to imagine them as demons.

“That seems…”

“Weird? Trust me, if I’d met them the same way you did, I’d think the same thing, but don't let them fool you; they’re insane.” He eyed Kaidan critically. “So I assume you’re asking about our history, because of all this sexual tension between you and Cal?”

Kaidan flushed red--was he that transparent? “You said nothing was off limits.”

“And your first question is how we met? How exceedingly innocent--no wonder Cal likes you.”

Cal choked on her drink, as she glanced at Kaidan over the rim, everyone pretending like they hadn’t heard anything...but their attraction to each other was hardly a secret--he reminded her of Colin. And Kaidan was anything but innocent if the smolder in his eyes whenever they made eye contact was any indication. Ashley, Wrex, Garrus, Tali, Liara, Kaidan, Joker, Colum, Steve, Robert, Adams, Chakwas, Pressly and of course, the twins had gathered for a little R & R, or as Grai called it, a ‘thank fuck we’re all still alive party’. Next time she didn’t get to do the naming, though whoever had the bright idea to play truth or dare, didn’t know what they were signing up for. It wasn’t like Joker could really do many dares, but that could wait until they were all more drunk, for now they’d content themselves with getting to know one another--everyone just excited they’d made it off Virmire alive; grounding the Normandy might have been a good thing.

“My turn. Cal, truth or dare?” Grai grinned.

Cal took a deep breath, sure she was going to regret her answer. “Dare.”

Grai leaned over to whisper conspiratorially with Tali, Ashley, Liara, Robert and Steve the six of them pulling away with equally mischievous grins on their faces, glancing between Kaidan and Cal not-so-subtly, making the two of them blush from head to toe. She was instantly wary--she’d only  _ just _ opened up emotionally again and she had a feeling that her sister and their friends were going to take advantage of that and force her and Kaidan into each other’s arms. Meddling in each other’s love lives had been a favorite pastime for years. Hers and Kaidan’s relationship had gone from friends to flirty in no time at all, and had her wondering when the walls around her heart had come down. She’d need another drink after this, of that she was certain.

“I dare you to kiss Kaidan.”

Cal stood slowly, the room tilting dangerously, vision swimming. She may have had too many drinks already, but was it wrong she was slightly excited for this? She circled around the table and straddled Kaidan in his chair, her knees settled on either side of his hips. She did her best to look sexy, but with the amount of alcohol in her system, she had a feeling she was failing. Calysta grinned down at him, one hand on his chest over his heart, pulse erratic under her fingertips, the other hand cupping his jaw, thumb rubbing the stubble. She loved the rough texture against her skin.

“We don't need to do this, you know. If you're uncomfortable--”

The rest of her sentence hung in the air, forgotten, as his lips found hers in a passionate kiss, their bodies curling together. She melted against him, angling her head to deepen the kiss, his mouth opening against hers, tongues intertwining. Her pelvis rocked against his, a moan escaping Kaidan’s lips and he held her, a gentle hand cupping her chin. The sound of their friends whooping and hollering at them faded into the background, the two of them lost in each other. Months of sexual tension poured into that one kiss left them both gasping for air but never wanting to seperate. Kaidan’s hands wound in her hair, as Cal pulled back to breathe.

“Get a room.” Steve teased.

“Party foul!” Joker cried.

“Kaidan kissed her!” Tali added.

“I think we’ll let it slide, since the end result was the one we wanted.” Grai grinned as Cal stood and made her way over to the bar to get everyone more drinks.

Joker leaned back in his chair, hands folded behind his head and a smug grin on his face. “Do you guys wanna hear an embarrassing story--”

“Oh my god, Joker, are you  _ finally _ telling people about your invisible prom date?” Cal grinned as she walked back to the table with another round. “Talk about embarrassing.”

“Invisible prom date? Do tell.” Ashley grinned, leaning forward and bracing her elbows against the table, chin in her hands.

“So Joker bought two prom tickets, but when asked about his date--that he made up, mind you--instead of saying she was out of town or couldn't make it, he blurted that she was invisible. Luckily, I came to his rescue and was his date, but he knew it wasn't one of his finer moments.” Cal giggled. “The rumors I spread that night would be enough to make an elcor blush.”

It was Joker's turn to be embarrassed. 

That was a story he’d been hoping to take to his grave...it hadn't been one of his more brilliant moments; he’d admit it. And Cal had come to his rescue, making every guy in the room insanely jealous that Joker got to have her on his arm, and she’d played the part to perfection. Constantly touching him, kissing his cheek, and bolstering his reputation with innuendo laden comments and inappropriate allusions. Tali, Steve and Robert each raised an eyebrow, obviously trying not to laugh, and failing miserably. Joker frowned and threw his hat at Steve where he sat in the chair across from him.

“Two can play at this game, Cal. Calysta slept with a stuffed animal until she was eighteen. It was a monkey in a tuxedo named Wugglesworth the Monkey Butler. She'd even talk to him and pretend she was an heiress and he really was her mutated butler. She even still has him--he sits on her bed until she goes to sleep then he goes on the nightstand." Joker blurted.

Calysta clutched her heart, scandalized. “How dare you bring Wugglesworth into this."

Everyone around the table was wheezing with laughter, tears in their eyes, a couple rolling down their cheeks. This may have been the best idea to unwind, and learn that both of the Shepard woman weren’t so larger than life after all...they were human too. Calysta took another drink to calm herself. The wasn’t what she needed Kaidan to know about her, but Wugglesworth had been her best friend since before Joker, that stuffed animal had been through so much with her. 

"I can't believe you still have Wugglesworth," Grai said, wiping her cheek.

“Also, remember when you accidentally sent me several pictures you intended for your high school boyfriend? Several naked pictures.” Joker grinned.

That had been a memory she’d tried to forget--it took a week for them to get over that little blunder and stop pussy-footing around the other. Their mothers had been so confused why they hadn’t seen their partner in crime for a week, when they’d hung out every day since they met. One didn’t send picture like that to their best friend, the one who was like a brother to them...more of a brother than their step-brother even. When had it become gang up on Cal Day? Why were her secrets the only ones being revealed in this truth out? It wasn’t like she was the only one who had any, but it seemed like she and Joker were trying to one up each other with who could tell the most embarrassing story about the other.

"And then there was the time Joker accidentally sent her a dick pic…” Grai said, a wicked twinkle in her eye, the game forgotten. “Believe me, Kaid--it's been one helluva ride with these two," Grai took a sip of her beer, and leaned her head against Col's chest. "... I'm only finding out about half this shit now."

“Wait, what? Joker, you didn't  _ actually _ send Shepard a dick pic, right?” Ash said, having managed to finally piece together what they’d said.

“It was an accident. She even pretended she was the intended recipient for like ten minutes, just to mess with me. When I finally noticed the mistake, it was way too late.”

Steve groaned as Robert squeezed his shoulder. “Are they always like this?”

“Not always. It's just...I think Joker had it right earlier. They’re insane, and I’ve only known them since we were eighteen. Grai was my roomate at the Naval Academy--instant best friends." Cortez slung an arm around Grai’s shoulders.

“How are you guys still friends?” Kaidan asked incredulously.

It was odd hearing how much these two liked to mess with each other...that they'd been friends since they were five and six, it was a miracle. But maybe they used the snark and messing with each other were how they relax after years of military conditioning, some fun was how they unwound. He could understand that, especially after his brief run in with the Vorcha Mafia; sometimes you just needed to blow off steam. Cal grinned and knocked back the last of her drink, smiling over the rim as she knocked Joker’s shoulder with her own, her best friend throwing an arm around her shoulder and giving her a one-armed hug. She wouldn’t trade him for the world.

“We can't let him go now...he knows too much.”

“Like every unfortunate choice I made and every stupid tattoo I’ve gotten under the influence of alcohol. We’d have to bury him in concrete and stick him in a vat of acid, because there’s only so many places one can hide a body.” Grai flashed Kaidan a wicked grin, and winked at Joker.

“And blood is just so hard to get out.” Cal teased.

“Grai, I don’t know what I’ll do with you…” Colum handed her another cold beer, and she smiled at him.

“Finally someone sane,” Kaidan groaned. “You’ve known them how long now?”

“Seven years. First time I met Cal, she introduced her boyfriend Colin. Grai burst out laughing…” Col said, affecting a long-suffering sigh.

“I’m too sober for this…” Wrex grunted.

“You and me both, babe,” Grai said, taking another swig of her beer.


	5. The Start of Something Weird

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 6of Friendship February (17th Feb) New Adventures - Send your OC and their friends out to try something new! A new food, a crazy hair color, bungee jumping… go crazy! Find some mischief!
> 
> Okay, so way late due to finishing last minute costumes for Comic Con around this time, because I realized I only had a week and a half left. The start of my Twinquisitor fic where they start meeting their crew. Together they have to seal the breach and remember what happened at the Conclave.

“Hey, Phranki watch the lightning…You almost hit me.” Phasmi teased.

She rolled her eyes, as her older, identical twin sister slashed a demon with her dual daggers–she had a penchant for over exaggerating, especially since all she’d done was cast a spell to envelop the team’s weapons in electricity. An electrified dagger whizzed past Phranki’s head, into the head of a horror that she hadn’t noticed sneaking up on her. It collapsed. Phasmi would be damned if she was going to let anything happen to her little sister, neither of them had asked for this when they’d gone to the conclave, but here they were.

“If I was going to hit you, I would’ve done so, already and you know it.” She laughed conjuring up another lightning bolt, sending it into a terror poised to attack her sister.

They didn’t remember what had happened at the conclave, what had caused the explosion and the death of the Divine; all they knew was the blast had blown them apart. Phasmi had woken up first and stumbled out of the fade at Haven, disoriented, only to be captured by the Seeker; Phranki had found her way out second, past…something so horrible she’d blocked it out–at least that was what she hoped was behind both of their memory loss, and collapsed, being found by Sister Nightingale. The two of them had been in separate cells, Phasmi being interrogated for longer than was probably necessary, both hoping the other had made it out.

The last demon fell and the bald, rather attractive elf grabbed Phasmi, shoving her glowing green left hand towards whatever the hell the demons had been fighting tooth and nail to get out of. Nothing happened. Phranki’s right hand was glowing in response, pulsing in time with her sister’s. Phasmi noticed it and beckoned her sister over, taking her right hand in her left, and thrust their hands at the fade rift, everyone watching as it closed, the air crackling with magic. Their marks had drawn them back together.

“It seems you hold the key to our salvation.” The elf said.

“Good to know. And here I thought we’d be ass-deep in demons forever.” A dwarf with ginger hair, a red tunic and a chest full of hair chuckled, spinning a crossbow bolt between his fingers. “Varric Tethras, at your service. Rogue, storyteller, and occasionally unwelcome tagalong.”

Cassandra made a disgusted noise in her throat as Varric winked at her.

“That’s a…nice crossbow you have there.” Phasmi bit her lip, adjusting her tunic.

“Isn’t she?” Varric looked lovingly over his shoulder. “Bianca and I have been through a lot together.”

Phranki cocked her head to one side, straightening the hem or her robes. “You named your crossbow Bianca?”

“Of course! And she’ll be good company down in the valley.”

The twins giggled.

“Absolutely not. Your help is appreciated, Varric, but–

“–Have you been in the valley, Seeker? You need all the help you can get.”

Cassandra scoffed again, pacing away to put as much distance between her and Varric as possible. He’d been grating on her nerves since she’d brought him in to find Hawke’s whereabouts and she didn’t want to endure his company for longer than she had to. Phasmi approached Phranki, checking her younger twin over for any sign of injury, even if her magic allowed her to hang back at the fringes of the fray, while Phasmi was the one up close and personal with her dual daggers and should really be worrying about herself, but she was the older twin, and taking care of her little sister was her job. She tucked a lock of hair behind Phranki’s ear–everything seemed fine and Phasmi let out the breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding.

“My name is Solas, if there are to be introductions.”

“Phasmi Trevelyan.” She grinned, as she pulled her borrowed dagger out of the demon’s head and wiped it in the snow before stowing it back on her belt.

“Phranki Trevelyan.” She followed her sister’s lead and swung her salvaged staff around her back.

They fought their way to the forward camp, running into Leliana and Chancellor Roderick…the second of which was calling for both their heads. Roderick, the blowhard, wanted them both on trial, for they’d done, but neither could remember what happened. Why would they kill Divine Justinia? What would they have to gain? But Cassandra and Leliana had quelled his anger, seeing as they were needed…and whether he liked it or not, they were tied to the breach in the sky apparently. At least they got to stay together, neither being able to close the rifts without the other.

The mountain pass was covered in snow, and they could hear the sound of fighting up ahead on the oath as they emerged from the rickety mine shaft. They rounded the corner, four bodies lay dead on the ground in front of a green rift–part of the scouting party…they hadn’t made it in time to save them all but at least three of them were still alive, facing off against several demons. Phasmi pulled both daggers off her belt sending one flying into the head of the closest enemy as Phranki grabbed her staff off her back. Working together they made short work of the demons, the three remaining scouts heaving sighs of relief as they collapsed to their knees. Two hands thrust towards the rift, sealing it tight. Phasmi and Phranki thought they saw the hint of a smile playing about Cassandra’s lips as she checked on the scouts, Varric checking Bianca, and Solas examining the area the rift had occupied.

After sending the scouts back the way they had come, having cleared it of debris and demons, the five of them found their way to a small outcropping that widened into a full-blown path leading directly where they needed to be, several soldiers already awaiting their arrival. Varric sucked in a breath when he realized they were surrounded by red lyrium, every one of them having read his Tale of the Champion–the stuff was blighted, contagious, and all around dangerous. It couldn’t be good that it was all over the area where the Conclave and Divine Justinia had exploded; where the twins had fallen out of the fade. Several voices bounced around the clearing…familiar, like they were dripping out of the breach itself: a deep booming voice, followed by the twins’ identical voices, Phasmi first and Phranki next, and then Justinia herself.

“So, you were there when the Divine fell! Who else?” Cassandra exclaimed, looking between the two of them.

“I don’t know.” Phasmi scrunched up her nose in distaste.

Phranki nodded, sighing. “I can’t remember anything once we stepped through the door.”

The fact that one moment they were outside the meeting hall, the next being dragged from a cell to be interrogated about what had happened was not pleasant. Why didn’t they have any memories of what happened between those two moments? Varric had told them to spin a tale, but how did one joke about a massive explosion that caused the death of so many? Several charred bodies stood seemingly frozen in time, caught running away from the breach, the center of the explosion, and still others littered the ground everywhere one looked. It was a horrible sight.


	6. The Jellyfish Stings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 7 Friendship February (18 Feb): Free Day - Have an idea that doesn’t quite fit one of the categories above? This is your day to roll with it!
> 
> Joker and Shepard have a much needed movie night since she missed a lot when she was dead, unfortunately the movie he chooses is not one she would have picked out for herself, but she won't deny him what he wants, After reclaiming something from the past and needing to get her mind off it...

The Normandy was far too quiet, considering how many crew members Cerberus had installed there to help Alyss with the mission against the collectors. They had just left Illium after she’d taken a side trip to see Liara. The last time this had happened the entire crew was waiting to ambush her with a karaoke birthday party in the cargo hold…it wasn’t her birthday, but thinking of such, she made her way to deck three–she needed to speak to Miranda.

The doors to Miranda’s office whooshed open at her approach, and there she was, typing away on her terminal as was usual. She looked up at the sound and smiled. Everyone was getting along better now that there was a full complement of crew members, and they were all getting her help with personal missions. Alyss perched herself on the edge of Miranda’s desk and waited for her to have a moment.

“What can I do for you, Shepard?”

“I was just curious…when you received my body was I wearing a necklace under my armor? I know Liara gave my tags to Admiral Hackett, but I don’t know what happened to it; it was kind of a sentimental piece.”

It was also one of the only things she had to remind her of Kaidan…that she’d almost forgotten about it didn’t make her feel any better.

“A water lily?” Miranda asked, reaching into the top drawer of her desk.

Alyss nodded fervently, and her shoulders sagged in relief when Miranda produced a delicate silver chain from which hung the exquisite water lily charm Kaidan had given her for her birthday. She didn’t remember even reaching out for it. It still looked perfect in pink and green–thank the stars for her armor…it had protected it from any harm, and she knew she was grinning like an idiot, but there was no way to stop.

“Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.” In her excitement, her words tumbled out over one another.

“You’re welcome, though I never pegged you as sentimental…” Miranda replied.

Alyss shrugged. “It was a gift, but I should leave you be. Again, thank you.”

Miranda smiled, and nodded as Alyss took her leave, clutching the necklace in her hand. She started humming to herself as she used a perfectly manicured fingernail to open the clasp with practiced precision, and hung the necklace about her neck. It was as if everything was right with the universe in that one moment, making a contented sigh slip past her lips.

“EDI, where’s Joker?”

“Mr. Moreau is currently trying to find some place on the ship to watch a new vid on a large screen.” EDI told her.

Alyss smiled. “Send him to the loft for me. It’s been too long since we’ve had some us time, I guess I’ll watch it with him.”

“Of course, Shepard.”

Alyss shook her head, as she rolled her eyes rounding the corner to the mess and approaching Chef Gardner. She trusted the man to keep her crew fed and happy and with the new rations he was doing better, but she always made her own food and he let her–ever since he’d told her he made sure his hands were clean most of the time. It was the most she didn’t trust.

“Afternoon, Rupert.” Alyss greeted as she opened one of the cabinet doors and rummaged around inside.

“Hey there, Shepard! Can I help you find something?” He asked, peering over her shoulder curiously.

“I hid popcorn in here somewhere the other day; if I had left it out, Joker would’ve inhaled it…that man can smell junk food like a bloodhound…”

Rupert laughed, while Shepard let out a triumphant cheer, pulling a large bag of white cheddar popcorn out of the back of the cabinet. She was actually surprised it was still there. Shrugging she pulled a large bowl down, washed it just to be sure, and after drying it, dumped the entire bag into it. What was a movie without popcorn?

“What’s the occasion?”

“Joker and I are going to watch a movie in the loft. You’re welcome to join us.”

He waved her off. “Nah, I ‘preciate the offer, but I won’t intrude on the two of ya.”

It was his choice, and she wasn’t going to force the issue–Alyss would be the first to admit she hadn’t wanted company, but it would’ve been rude not to offer; Hannah Shepard always taught her to ‘mind her p’s and q’s.’ She squeezed his shoulder gratefully as she passed, before making her way to the elevator. The doors opened on Joker pacing in front of her door, he hadn’t dared to enter her room, in case he’d misheard EDI. Then he saw the large bowl of popcorn and he grinned from ear to ear.

“So we’re really doing this?” He asked.

“What are we watching? Ooh! Please tell me it’s Francis Kitt’s Elcor Hamlet! I really wanted to see that…and then I died.”

“Hearing that is still so weird.”

“You think it’s weird to hear? Try telling people you were actually dead for two years, three months, and seventeen days.“ Alyss bit her lip. “Anyways, Hamlet: I’ve always loved Shakespeare.”

“I’ve didn’t know that.” He nodded appreciatively.

“I assume that’s not what we’re watching?” Alyss opened the door behind him, and ushered him ahead of her.

He took a second to take in her room; she always came to see him so he’d never seen it before. Three ridiculously large fish tanks that glowed blue lined the left wall and stood empty–he’d seen her carrying her dead fish from the elevator to dump them far too many times and silently applauded her when she finally stopped buying them. Two clear cases of model ships loomed imposingly to his right, and the hamster he’d helped her pick out poked his head out of his hidey hole in his glass cage, squeaking once before disappearing back inside.

“I don’t think Kaidan likes me.” He teased–she was never going to live down the fact that she’d named the poor space hamster Kaidan.

“Well you are a stranger. He knows never to talk to strangers. So?” She urged, making Joker hand her the vid.

“It’s called Blasto the Jellyfish Stings.”

“Oh lord.” Alyss rolled her eyes and handed it back to Joker after skimming the synopsis, before setting the popcorn on the coffee table, sitting on the end of the couch, facing towards the ship displays and pressing a button on her remote control turning it into a giant screen. “Turn it on, before I change my mind.”

Joker sat down next to her and picked up the popcorn bowl off the table, as she draped her legs across his lap. A loud explosion started them off with a bang…and six explosions later Alyss was already bored. Her head was resting against her hand as a slightly worse for wear Hanar emerged from the wreckage of the Burning building, with a quarian in tow, wielding six pistols making Alyss scoff and grab a handful of popcorn.

“That’s hardly a gun in every tentacle. Though if he actually had a gun in every tentacle he wouldn’t be able to walk, and imagine him bouncing around–that’s not intimidating at all.” She giggled, reaching for the popcorn again.

“It’s been five minutes and you’re already picking the movie apart?” Joker smacked her leg.

She pointed at the screen where Blasto was embracing the Quarian–the description did say he had a gun in every tentacle and a lover in every port, but really? Obviously the movie was made to be an action movie, making fun of the whole action movie genre at the same time. It was quite possibly the worst depiction of a spectre she’d ever seen, and she’d had to deal with Saren and his indoctrinated brain…

“In what universe can a Hanar and a Quarian be lovers?” She cried.

“In this one!” Joker exclaimed.

Alyss shrugged. “She deserves better. He’s just going to leave her for an asari or an Elcor or a vorcha down the road. She should just rip off the bandaid and dump his ass now.”

Joker’s jaw dropped.

“I never took you for a cynic, Al. You with your Kaidan tattoo, and your Shakespeare, and your hamster named Kaidan,” He reached out and caught the charm of her necklace between his fingers, “and your water lily necklace…even after what happened on Horizon; you, my friend, are the ultimate romantic.”

He didn’t have to bring up Horizon–that was totally uncalled for…but unfortunately for her, he was probably right. She hated that. Joker reached out and hugged her; he probably shouldn’t have even mentioned Horizon…she’d finally been getting over it and moving on, and he’d brought her back all to win an argument. It wasn’t worth it.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said it.”

Alyss shook her head. “No, it’s okay. You’re absolutely right, and I’m sorry. Let’s just watch the rest of the movie…how long is it?”

Joker grinned, because he was actually enjoying the movie so far; her comments only added to his enjoyment. “Two and a half hours.”

“Oh lord.”


End file.
